


Drabbles

by lone_sandkorn



Series: Two faces of the same coin [4]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Agression, Angst, Borderline Personality Disorder, Comfort, Despression, F/M, Hurt, Love, Mental Health Issues, Micro universe, Searan is still in hospital, Somewhere after the main events of of mysme
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 07:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11352474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lone_sandkorn/pseuds/lone_sandkorn
Summary: A hospital is a place to heal, for both Saeran and you. At least you hope for this to be that kind of place.The doctors want you to stay away from each other, but you just can't. But is your wicked feeling of love real? Or nothing but an anchor that will always push you down again? There is only one way to find out, right?





	Drabbles

**Author's Note:**

> Basically a drabble for a part that is going to take place in my main fic - Raindrops full of laughter. Without giving to much spoilers, let me just tell you some basic bullet points to understand the scene. 
> 
> This obviously takes place after Mint Eye, you and Saeran have both been brought to the hospital and are made to stay there - partly because of your mental illnesses. 
> 
> The doctors told you that everything Saeran felt for you was nothing but drug induced and everything you've felt for him was some kind of Stockholm syndrome. You are both told to stay away from each other, which gives you time to think about your feelings.  
> ___________

The first time you kiss - like actually kiss - was too early, too hasty..too impulsive.

“Sometimes I just don’t know.” 

You lean on the window and listen to the soft whisper of the wind that brushes against the hospital building. 

“Sometimes I just don’t know if I have sincere feelings for you, or if everything - whatever it is - is nothing but a drug induced obsession over you.” His voice sounds hollow and you know that today must have been especially exhausting for him. 

You hear the words that he speaks, but you don’t find himself in them. 

“Is that what you think, or is that what the doctors told you? Because it clearly does sound like the thing the doctors did tell me.”

He averts his eyes. You know that he is thinking. Hard. 

“They introduced the concept to me, a while ago. And there a days where I would laugh it off, but then there a days… Like this.”

_Like this._ Where everything and everyone around you becomes too loud. Too bright. So you don’t know where you start and they end anymore. Where you feel like none of your emotions belong to you. You know exactly what “like this” means. 

“And right now? Right now, with me, what do you feel?”

You shouldn’t step closer, you should give him the space he needed. But you wanted him to see, to understand, that you knew how he felt. That you were just…. The same.

“I think about doing things to you. hurting you. But also kissing you.”

You don’t wait for anything else and take another step towards him, clashing your lips onto his. 

His response was immediate. His nails scratching into you skin, his body pressing himself against you with a force that was long forgotten to you. 

  
You let go in the same moment that he does.  
His breath still feverish and his eyes still glazed. You assume that you look just like him. 

This was not helping. You were not helping him and he was not helping you. 

If anything, you were pushing each other down back into the black pit that was sleeping underneath your feet.

It was just as Zen once said. The way you two were right now, after everything you’ve been through, you and Saeran were nothing but a hot puddle full of acid to each other, dissolving and burning away every piece you touch. 

“Turn around. Walk slowly. If you start to run, I WILL chase you. And god help me if I do.” It sounds threatening. You know it was meant this way. 

You do as he says. Moving inch per inch. You hear his whole weight shifting, his hands grabbing onto something with all his might, his breath pressing through his gritted teeth. 

And then you walk. Back to your room, your own little universe of depression. In the hope that tomorrow will be better. 

Because you know that if you ever want this love to work, you both had to work on your mental health alone. 

On your own. 

So that the next kiss wouldn’t be an ill advised decision, but a clear feeling.

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a native speaker so it is very likely that you will encounter phrases or words that might look odd to you. Feel free to point that out to me because it'll help me to improve my language skills :)
> 
> I am also on tumblr:  
> My username is "lonesandkorn" :)


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